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The importance of purging friends

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Over this past year I’ve had to let go of a number of people who I previously called “friends”. There was nothing wrong with these people per se, I just realized that we weren’t heading in the same directions anymore. Luckily for me, it happened almost organically. I was in a relationship with someone who I ended up spending nearly all of my free time with. Now, bailing on all my friends isn’t something that I plan on doing again in the future, but for the purpose of getting rid of some people, it worked.

Honestly, I haven’t always surrounded myself with the best people in the world. I can recall more than one instance where a “friend” had mistreated me. Be it talking behind my back, stealing money from me on numerous occasions, or just not being there for me in my time of need. In the past I think I was so starved for attention or companionship from friends that I would take anything that came my way. Looking back, I realize that those people were not really friends at all and I should be a lot more selective about who I call my friends.

Ending communication with certain individuals was important for me because, quite frankly, I have enough issues without adding someone else’s to the mix. And I also don’t need anyone in my life who was out to use me, as some people have done.  Ending communication with some folk was a blessing since I was able to focus on other things and get back to me. The old saying holds true, “Birds of a feather, flock together”.  I just decided for the most part, I didn’t want to flock with those people anymore. Since then, my life has been relatively drama free, or at least free of other people’s drama.

I used to feel so bad if a friendship or relationship didn’t turn out the way I had hoped. My thoughts on the situation have changed.  I learned a lot from these relationships. I learned about my short comings as a friend, I learned about what type of people I want to surround myself with,  and because of these situations, I’ve been able to have a better appreciation of my true friends and strive to be a better friend as well. So in some ways, breaking up with a friend is a lot like breaking up with a significant other. The real tragedy would be if I had learned nothing from the friendship at all.